Wow, it has been quite a while since I have written. I am not sure if that is because I have been super busy or just not motivated. Possibly a mixture of both, but I am hoping to get back into the mix of things.
I have been lacking any sort of motivation lately. I am going to blame the pregnancy hormones. Yep, I am pregnant! Told ya I was busy ;) We found out Father's Day actually. I was shocked. I only took a test because Chris kept telling me I was. Of course I didn't believe him and definitely did not think that at just 3 weeks it would show on a test. The line was so faint at first I thought I was seeing things so I called Chris in to see if he saw what I did. Sure enough, there were 2 pink lines. I took another one and it showed up immediately. I was so excited but as it hit me, I was very nervous. Given the miscarriage in December, I couldn't help but be apprehensive to get excited too quickly. Around 7 weeks, I started bleeding. Panic set in. I couldn't help but think "not again, don't take this baby too". 7 weeks was when I lost Logan. So, Chris got off work and took me to the ER and I prayed. My blood work came back with the right amount of hCG and the ultrasound showed a healthy heartbeat..but also a hemorrhage. They pretty much said you have a 50 50 chance of it resolving on its own and carrying to term or miscarrying. The hemorrhage upped my chances of a miscarriage compared to if I didn't have this issue. Reassuring huh? I just held onto the image of the baby's heart beat while I was put on bed rest. This was on a Friday. Monday we were seen again. This time Chris got to see the baby. His face was priceless. I will never forget it. He was in awe. That was HIS baby. OUR baby. We also found out the hemorrhage has gotten smaller. Good news, right? I am still on a limited "bed rest" but so far, everything looks good. I am high risk now but that just means more ultrasounds right? HAHA. I have a "big" ultrasound August 1st followed by my "first" OB appointment on the 2nd.
Baby B at 7 weeks 3 days
Another amazing thing? Chris and I got married! June 30th, 2012 is our "official" anniversary. The wedding was absolutely perfect. It got a little stressful but at the end of the day, walking down the "aisle" to Chris was everything I dreamed it would be. Seeing his smile, hearing him tell me I looked phenomenal, saying those vows as we put rings on the others finger...I could not have asked for anything more. He was so handsome. I saw him and my heart started racing and I couldn't help but smile like an idiot. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I was but not because I was worried I was making a mistake. I was nervous of falling, nervous of messing up my vows, or laughing at the wrong moment. I was nervous because I wanted him to see me as the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Of course I realized I was worried for nothing, but hindsight is always 20/20 right? We spent our "honeymoon" in Vegas. One of the things I love most about Chris is his willingness to try anything once. While we were in Vegas, we did CSI:The Experience, went to Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum, we gambled (well Chris had more of a handle on this than I did), we even ate at some interesting places. When we are together, we always have fun. I can not wait til we have our next "vacation".
Madame Tussaud's.
CSI:The Experience. This was our "crime scene".
The kids start school in August. Braedyn will be in Pre-K and Presleigh will be in Kindergarten. I can't believe they are already in school :( They have grown up so quickly. I know Presleigh is so excited though. School is all she talks about. Braedyn doesn't really get the "hey you're going to school" but I am sure once he starts he will be just as excited as Presleigh. They had check-ups with the doctors. Braedyn is above average on his knowledge! I was so proud of him. I have to take Presleigh to a cardiac specialist. Her heart condition has not gotten better. It hasn't gotten to the worst it could be, but they are concerned. She gets out of breath quickly when playing and they said that was one of the first signs she needed to be monitored more often. So, as nervous as I am, I am just going to lift it up to God. I know he will take care of my baby girl.
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On to other news. I know I have written about the situation with my ex before...but something has been weighing on my mind a lot lately. Him and I have actually been really civil with each other. We can hold a conversation and there are no harsh words slung at each other. Amazing right? I thought so. Well, with all that had been going on, I had not been on the computer AT ALL except to open Skype for the kids to talk to him (which was maybe 4 or 5 times honestly). When I finally got home, per his request, I unblocked his girlfriend on Facebook (in reality, I unblocked EVERYONE I had on the list because there was no reason to keep them on there). I mean, really, what is the point of having her blocked? She can't see anything on my page and I honestly have no true issues with her. Sure, she bashed me as a mother. She even went so far as to threaten me and block the kid's Facebook page (real mature, I know, but after a while she unblocked them so I said nothing more on it). Well, whatevs. Past is the past and I wasn't completely innocent in any of that (nor did I claim to be, mind you). When we finally got back and I was out of the hospital, I got an IM from my ex saying that she is telling him I wrote her an e-mail. She knew I unblocked her. Hmm. I thought I was the one who was stalking her pages? How on Earth would she have known I unblocked her? Not sure, but I NEVER wrote this chic. Why would she tell him I did? My ex knew I was in the hospital and told me he only said something so I knew what was going on but he didn't think there was really an e-mail. Well, good cause there isn't! I just don't understand why she lied about something so easily traceable? I promised my ex I wouldn't write her LAST YEAR..and I HAVEN'T!!! What is the point? I am happy. I don't want my ex back. Heck, I don't want any issues with my ex because it's not good for the kids. Every time they (as in my ex and his girlfriend) fight, I am thrown into because I get the attitude backlash from my ex and her spewing nonsense about me writing her and threatening her. He asked how she might know I knew she blocked the kids. Well, probably cause she has your passwords my dear. I guess what I am getting at here is I don't understand why she is still, after all this time, lying about me? I haven't said anything. I haven't done anything. Heck, like I mentioned before, I am HAPPY!! She is supposed to be coming in October with my ex for his time with the kids. I told my ex she is more than welcome to come to Presleigh's birthday party. I am trying but she is still going on. So, if anyone has ANY advice on how to handle this, I am all ears!
Taking the kids shooting for the first time!
Pool time at Papaw and Meena's
Until next time, I bid you adieu.
XoX
-B
