D-I-V-O-R-C-E

I hate that word with a passion. That one simple, tiny word ruins so many lives. 

Yes, I am guilty of getting a divorce, but not without trying to save my marriage first. I worked hard to save it for the entire 7 years we were together. I made counseling appointments, individual and couple. I tried date nights. I was faithful. I TRIED! But more and more these days I see so many couples turning to divorce without even lifting a finger to save what they started. Too many people, in my opinion, enter into marriage thinking they can easily get out of it with a divorce. They don't think of the consequences. It doesn't just affect you. It affects BOTH people involved, kids if there are any, extended family (sisters, moms, dads, etc), and truthfully...anyone you are with in the future.

I sat here reading a post written by a newlywed complaining about her husband. First wrong move: publicizing anything is wrong inside your home. Second: she admitted she didn't even tell HIM what was wrong. You haven't been married a month and you are wanting a divorce? Is there not something completely wrong with that picture? Marriage isn't 50/50. It is 100/100. Every day you wake up, remind yourself "I love this man. He is my husband. I will do my best to make him and myself happy today". It is work. Every day, it is work to make a marriage successful.

I am a firm believer in not publicizing when there is something wrong at home. If you and your spouse aren't happy, that is between you TWO. It is not for Facebook to know. Joe blow and Susie Q don't care. When you tell the world there is a problem, the Devil will step in. Do I think you should hold everything in? No. However, there are only a few people who might care if something happens to you and your husband..and you won't find them on Facebook. You need a support system that will tell you "work it out!" not "leave his ass". With that being said..the first person you should ever tell there is a problem to is your spouse. Only he/she can fix what they are doing wrong. If they don't know, they can't fix it. So, stop telling the world and start telling your spouse!

STOP thinking divorce is the answer to a broken relationship. Are there exceptions? Sure. I can bet on it that 99% of those divorces don't fall into that exception category though.

I am not an expert in relationships. Like I mentioned above, I have been through a divorce. But I took what I went through and I LEARNED from it. Am I perfect? No. I still hold a few things in expecting Chris to just "know" what I want him to do and get mad when he doesn't. Difference is, I recognize it. I work on it every day. I work on the damage my ex did to me so it doesn't affect my marriage now. I WORK on me and my marriage every day because I believe that is what it takes. I will not get a divorce again. I was taught if something is broken, you fix it. You don't give up. So, I won't. 

So, here is to already celebrating our 50 years of marriage ;)

XoX
-B