the waiting game

If you are military, then you know about the waiting game. It happens that whole week before they come home. They push up dates, then they push them back. They change the times more than you would like. That is where I am sitting right now. I got the call that told me they have pushed his time back. Boo. As if I wasn't already nervous enough, lets add a couple more hours to wait and really stir up the butterflies. You know what though? I am just grateful that he is coming home! I know that there are a lot of people who don't have that luxury. They lost the one they loved. So, I will take the Army pushing him back a couple hours with a smile on my face and an extra hundred butterflies in my stomach ;) because in a few days time I will get to post homecoming photos! How exciting is that? So for now, instead of sitting on my hands with nothing to do, I will blog about things that have been on my mind lately :)

On to other things in life...I am really starting to wonder if I am on the right path in school. I don't know if this is because I started earlier than I should have or because I am completely overwhelmed with everything going on in my life, but I am starting to feel burned out already on the whole nursing career path. Am I really cut out for this? I know I want to do something in the medical field but is being an RN what I REALLY want to do? I guess it is a little late in the game to be asking that but I can't help but wonder if I would feel more satisfied elsewhere. EMT? CNA? LVN? Phlebotomist? I guess only time will tell and since school is paid for right now, I will keep on trekking. It could just be a funk I am in. I tend to change my mind A LOT when it comes to this stuff.

I was on Facebook earlier and I saw some of my friends had read this article about a model who had severe acne. She went online and created a video (that you can watch here) to teach girls how to put on make-up so that it covers up acne without turning clumpy or orange. She was clearly upset about being on camera without make-up because her acne was pretty bad. She has what they call cystic acne (Cystic acne, or nodulocystic acne, is the most severe form of acne vulgaris. Deep, inflamed breakouts develop on the face and/or other areas of the body. The blemishes themselves can become large; some may measure up to several centimeters across). Watching this broke my heart because I can relate. I don't have cystic acne, but I do suffer from acne and the insecurity that without my make-up, I am not beautiful. She is braver than I will ever be for stepping in front of a camera barefaced and letting the world have at it. 90% of the comments were supportive but of course you always have the few jerks who would rather ridicule than applaud this brave young woman. Even at the age of 25 I will not step out of my house without make-up on. It just won't happen. I have to have my hair done, face on, and clothes to match. I literally start to feel my heart race, my palms get sweaty, and a lump forms in my throat when I even start to step outside with no make-up. I am even thinking of ways to make sure Chris doesn't see me without make-up for a while because I am just that insecure! (He has seen me on webcam with no make-up but those things are never clear enough to tell LOL) I hope my daughter doesn't ever have to feel this way..because every girl should feel beautiful with or without make-up.

Ok, I am rambling now so off to bed I go to try and catch some sleep because I know I won't be getting much the next couple of nights because of all the excitement!

XoX
-B